The Unconventional SF Bathroom Guide—Yes, We Had To Make This

We duty calls, it calls with a swift, swift stream down the leg.

And for our weak bladdered friends, this is significantly more embarrassing—so when nature does indeed dial 911, here are a few poorly illustrated spots where you “could” get away with reliving yourself. Key word: could. 


Someones Front Door

When your bladder has to go, it has to go. Racing down 19th to get to, at least, your front door so you can whiz in peace but nature calls and your bladder isn’t waiting. We’re not entirely proud but the planter we urinated in had to feel the gusto. Sorry, nature.


Behind a Chevron

Hey festival season, we see you. We need to let you know that the Chevron on 24th and Geary is, yes—24 hours but no, will not let you in to use the bathrooms after 8 p.m., this is intentionally saving their bathrooms and space from the kids who’ve popped way too much molly. Be forewarned.


In the ocean

For our “SF Summer” bops—a day at Baker Beach can turn swiftly if mother nature comes knocking on your door. We know that this beach has a bathroom facility you can use. If you would like to pick up all the bacteria and disgust that is. Hello sweet ocean urinal.


Down a pit in Golden Gate Park

Golden Gate Park—a place of wonder, exploration, and greenery. Though, no bathrooms. And if you get lost, like us, finding somewhere to swell safely is nearly impossible. Use the tree, it’s the new trend.


The bus stop at 2am

The cherry on top, a bus stop whiz in the early mornings where no bathrooms are around to use and your innards are screaming. Of course, cover your appropriately but boo, just get the job done. No one is remotely around. May we add that the bus isn’t coming for the next 24 minutes.

// Take this “guide” lightly—it’s more of an experience and we don’t condone people urinating in public in front of others. Illustrated by the Bob Cut team.

The Unconventional SF Bathroom Guide—Yes, We Had To Make This
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